Saturday was the seventh anniversary of what I call my
“Enlightenment Vision,” in which I was so incredibly blessed to meet and be blessed by numerous Ascended Masters. I am so grateful for the remembrance of blessing and enlightened consciousness. Lately, I have experienced a drop in consciousness and a lower vibration, as I have struggled with substitute teaching in some settings in which some of the children’s behavior has been, well, I can only call it outrageous and very unfit for creating an educational atmosphere. This has brought up so much concern in me, and so much uncertainty about how to deal with the really disruptive behavior, that I lowered my vibration and consciousness.
This weekend, it was helpful to me to remember the blessed vision (there is a blog entry here describing it), and I tuned in to learn what I need to do differently. First, I was reminded that I need to accept what others are doing as part of Life giving us all what is needed, and as part of what all the souls present together have agreed to experience. Although my heart breaks to see such unmanageable behavior, which may have horrible consequences for children in the long run, as well as being so disruptive of the educational process in the moment, I have to acknowledge that, on a soul level, whatever is, is what is needed.
So, I have to practice more non-attachment in order to remain in the peace, despite the days like Friday, which started with the teacher in the room next door warning me that I might need to send two boys to her class (which I did), and which ended with me following another teacher’s advice just to stand in the door way for the rest of class (almost an hour) to prevent one boy from running out of the room.
Obviously, I could no longer teach the class while standing in the doorway. Fortunately, a third teacher sent an older boy (maybe fifth grade), to help, and this older child helped perfectly, not only following my directions and requests, but also not allowing the boy in question to get away with some disruptive choices, and putting on a video for the class to watch. What a waste of young minds, class time, and tax payers’ money. All because we don’t teach parenting and we don’t teach holistically and we are not allowed to touch students, as in, we cannot just hold and hug a child to get them to stop acting out. (That “passive restraint” in the form of a hug is a technique I was taught 35 years ago while working with autistic children.)
There is so much to that situation that I needed to process: from how do I pay attention to the students who deserve attention, (I did my best), to how do I help those who needed help (I did my best), to how to understand why the boys came back with behavior not at all improved after seeing the counselor, to how am I to make sense of that spiritually, to how did I need to improve myself and my behavior in that setting. (By the way, this is a partially lower income school, and to me, it appears to have much less funding than other elementary schools in wealthier districts. To me, it seems that they deserve twice as much funding in order to lower class size and to increase supplies and implement special programs.)
On the spiritual path, what is needed is always for us to work on ourselves, until we have attained that final Oneness with the Divine.
And so it is that on Saturday, I meditated, I contemplated, and I asked for guidance and insight to understand all of this. What came to me on Saturday were six primary teachings. First, as written above, to accept what is, and to trust that all the souls involved have asked for this experience so that we can grow spiritually. Next, what came to me was that, when I don’t know what to do, I need to ask Source, “What is needed?” Usually, I receive specific guidance and answers to questions like this, and I did in the case of working with such students.
The third realization that came to me Saturday was that God is always what is needed. We may need to manifest God in a particular way, but God is the one who is always needed. If you have not read many of my blog entries, please know that, to me, God is love, God is peace, God is bliss, God is wisdom, God is truth, God is strength, and God is harmony. But God is often experienced as all of those things without words, simply as the energy of love, peace, and bliss; for instance, God is the experience of harmony. God is always needed, the question is simply: how do we incarnate God through ourselves as the wisdom or the love, the patience, the harmony that is needed?
The fourth realization that came to me was that, although there is so much that I long to help heal and transform in the world, the universe is just an illusion of space-time created so that we can remember our ultimate nature as part of the Divine Self. So that, yes, my ultimate purpose and quest is still and always union with God. It became clear to me that this experience of union with God, or Self-Realization is exactly the cure to the woes of the world.
Fifth, I experienced the masculine and feminine kundalini energies rising within me as creating love and fulfillment without the need of any other human being. If you have not yet felt the snake-like rising of the kundalini energies through the two nadis, I invite you to learn to meditate in ways that will facilitate you doing so. This is one of many reasons I teach Raja Yoga meditation: to facilitate the kundalini rising. Through this experience, I received a feeling of completeness and a satisfying love that I had never quite felt before. Honoring the divine masculine and the divine feminine within ourselves is essential for our own fulfillment.
I realized, sixth, that with this inner completion of love through the rising and meeting of the male and female kundalini energies, we no longer “need” a human partner (regardless of outer gender, human partners usually help each of us balance our inner masculine and feminine energies, no matter our orientation), because we embody a fullness of both within ourselves.
Well, what a beautiful sense of completion that suggests, and as the one teaching affirms: what is needed is always God. As I received in an earlier teaching, the path to the “all is well” is what is needed in the present moment. God is the Divine Being in which All Is Well. In the Divine Being, we are complete. To God be the honor, always.
Love and Light,