February 21, 2017
In the Western world of the 21st Century, we engage primarily in transactional relationships. Each interaction we have with others is so often tinged with the underlying expectation that we will “get” something out of the interaction, or that we will accomplish something that “gets us ahead” or “accomplishes a goal” or “earns more money” or gets us something. We tend to transact with one another rather than simply interact with one another.
Whether in business or at the grocery store, and even in romantic, friendly, and family relationships, many of us are hoping to “get” something out of talking with someone. We have too often lost the art of simply “being” together. Our relationships arise primarily out of doing, as so much of our society and values arise out of doing, purchasing, or consuming, or being entertained, rather than out of our being.
I challenge each of us to see if we can spend at least ten minutes being with someone, without “wanting” anything from them, not even a smile, an acknowledgement, or a comment, but rather being there with them and for them. If we can just be with someone without wanting anything from them, then we can unconditionally love and accept them.
Transformational relationships represent a spiritual way of being with one another as we evolve into higher consciousness together. At root, we simply need to be able to be with each other, appreciating and loving each other, without seeking to receive anything from one another.
In transformational relationships, we are able to be present with one another, empowering one another to be our best selves, unconditionally loving and accepting one another, and seeking to be present for the good of the other person rather than for our own self-interests. Transformational relationships enable us to heal, to learn, to grow, to experience love, and to become more connected with Source energy and Source consciousness, finding our own true, core Selves and bringing that higher presence and fulfilling that higher purpose in the world.
As I describe transformational relationships, doesn’t it sound as though we need more of these relationships in the world today? It seems as though we almost need lessons on how to do this. We are taught in schools, in business, and even in friendships that we enter these relationships to acquire something that we don’t have. All of life becomes transactional when driven by a monetary paradigm. What part of our lives is not measured with money or with other forms of transactions, such as trades, compromises, or “I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine.”
One of the joys of a true spiritual path is to set oneself free from transactional relationships and to allow oneself to be of service through transformational relationships. Life becomes richer, relationships become more deeply meaningful, and our own energy and consciousness rise to greater heights of love, peace, and joy.
I have four tips for moving out of transactional relationships and towards transformational relationships:
- Trust that all is well, and that all will be well, despite the appearance or feeling of things in any given moment
- Trust that “all I need I have within me,” for the Source of the Universe is within us, therefore the power of loving creation is always with us, in us, and capable of acting through us
- Hold the intention of blessing others, rather than seeking to receive anything from others
- Trust that you will receive what you need in and through each relationship as needed, when needed, if needed
You may have noticed that trust is the real key here. One of the reasons that we engage in transactional relationships instead of transformational relationships is that we have not been taught, and have not yet learned, to trust that we are One with the Loving Source of all creation. We are not separate from Love; we are Love. When we know and trust our own oneness with Love, we trust that as we share love with others, we receive from Love all that we need as well.
When we truly trust that Love is the Source of all that is, and that in this Love, all is well, then we can move from transactional ways of relating to transformational ways of relating. When we move into transformational relationships, we empower ourselves and others to be who we truly are, and to be all that we can be, and to fulfill our purposes on this earth.
May each and every one of us discover the joys of transformational relationships, and may we start a movement of transformational relationships that spreads around the world!
Love and Light,