The “I Am Diaries”

Here follows a series that is part of a larger series which I was told, by the Ascended Masters with whom I work, are “Lessons in Mastery.”  This smaller series I am calling The I Am Diaries.

A couple of days ago, the importance of returning to the I AM teachings of Saint Germain as expressed in “The I Am Discourses” became crystal clear to me.  I had been struggling with at least two significant issues in life, and knew that a return to “I AM” consciousness was the ticket to returning to higher consciousness and a more fulfilling life.

One of the central concepts in “The I Am Discourses” is that “the mighty presence of God” is the only active presence in this world.  Another central concept is that we can either look to the outer world of form to seek fulfillment, which will be temporary and illusory, or we can turn to the inner manifestation of divine Presence and find fulfillment which is permanent, and more productive of positive, loving, perfecting, and prosperous results in the outer manifestations of life.

So, two days ago, I embarked yet again on living from the consciousness of “I am the mighty presence of God in action.  The great opulence of God is made visible in my use right now and continuously.”  (Thank you for those affirmations, Saint Germain!)  At the same time, I held the intention of turning first and foremost to my experience of Divine Presence within me for satisfaction, nurturing, fulfillment, and love, rather than seeking it outside myself.

While I strayed from that intention from time to time, largely, my sense of self as well as my experience of life improved remarkably.

Please note that I am undergoing what I view as being lessons in Self-Realization, and lately that has included the instruction not to seek a ‘job’ as a means of support.  Rather, I feel led to trust Divine Providence through the energy healing and spiritual mentoring work that I do.  What a challenge this has felt like to the part of me that “just wants a job with benefits, because then I wouldn’t have to worry about money anymore”!

Well, now the latter is one way of experiencing consciousness about my ‘reality.’  Most people would view it that way.  In Spirit, I feel led to believe and to trust that all will be well as I pursue my life’s callings, and as I work hard to make my God-given dreams come true, as these dreams benefit others.

Yesterday morning, I felt a shift within myself as I was meditating, and the affirmation came to me:  “I am the beauty that is within me.”  In the context of knowing that I have great God-given gifts that have lately been so unknown and overlooked in the outer world, this thought felt so joyfully true and loving.  I sensed the Ascended Masters who have worked with me for some time laughing, overjoyed with relief, one of them reflecting the thought to me: “Finally, after all the work we have done with, for, and on you!”

Today, as I meditated this morning, I again experienced the crown chakra unfolding, this time opening really widely with very large, beautiful creamy-white petals, and then there was a beautiful white pearl sitting in the middle of the lotus, directly atop my head.

I heard Jesus say to me, “Behold, the pearl of great price.”

I thought of the term some people use:  “stillpoint” and thought that this experience was like that, but more than that.  This experience was energetic and conscious openness, which I now reflect seems very vulnerable, but there was a tremendous strength in this pearl-in-the-lotus experience, as well as perfect peace.  Perhaps the perfect peace is the strength.

Needless to say, spending all day in the presence of the pearl of great price, the pearl-in-the-lotus seems like the best place to be, but real life and a need to pay the bills and keep commitments beckoned me out and beyond the stillness and peace of that moment.

I pray that I may stay in that perfect peace of the priceless pearl-in-the-lotus.  I am grateful.  I am blessed.  May you be blessed with the peace and light and love of Godde as well.


(The spelling “Godde” is a way of expressing the Divine by including the concept of both genders, affirming the sacred feminine as well as the sacred masculine.)


About selfrealizationtherapy

I am a healer, life coach, author, and spiritual teacher. While I am ordained in the Christian tradition, I have also studied Eastern spiritual disciplines and practices, including Raja Yoga Meditation; Intuitive Coaching; Reiki; Falun Gong; and other forms of energy healing for both people and animals. I am available for distance healing and spiritual coaching via phone, Skype, WhatsApp, or Facetime; please email me at: to schedule a session. My goal is to assist you in connecting with your Higher Self to find fulfillment, peace, health, and happiness in life. I typically work with people for about six weeks, and then they either take classes with me and advance more, or simply go their happy way. While I cannot guarantee results, many clients find that in a few short weeks, more is accomplished than could be with years of traditional talk therapy. Born on the equator in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, I grew up moving back-and-forth between Africa and the United States my whole childhood and youth. We lived in three different countries in Africa, and three different states in the USA. I now live in Maryland, close to Washington, DC. I was widowed at the age of 28 when my 34-year-old husband died suddenly of a cerebral aneurysm that hemorrhaged, leaving me with an infant and a toddler. This crisis led me to believe that God loves us even when "bad" things happen, and also led me to pursue spirituality and become a minister. In 1996, thanks to "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramhansa Yogananda, and a meditation class called Raja Yoga, I started on an Eastern spiritual path, a journey which included becoming a healer and a mystic. On Thursday, May 27, 2010, I experienced what I call an Enlightenment Vision, in which I ascended and was blessed by Ascended Masters of many faiths: Master Lao Tzu, Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, Jesus Christ, Lord Buddha, Paramahansa Yogananda, High Priest Melchizedek, Lady Kwan Yin, Master Usui, and then by the Seven Archangels of the Seven Rays. After this vision, the teachings in Higher Consciousness began. Apparently, my crown chakra was opened, and direct contact with the Ascended Masters has been possible ever since. My message to everyone is: this is possible for you to achieve as well, although getting there is not necessarily quick or easy. With a Master of Divinity degree from Vanderbilt University Divinity School, a Master of Public Health degree from the University of Texas Health Center at Houston, and a Bachelor of Science degree in psychology from Texas Christian University, I perceive a unity in my readings in Eastern religions and in Biblical studies. As a result, I believe the original message of Jesus Christ was and is a call to Self-Realization, which may also be called following The Way (a term used in the book of Acts by very early "Christians," although they did not call themselves "Christians;" they called themselves Followers of the Way. The Way, or the Tao consists of the practice of peace and love in every moment, honoring the Divine Presence within ourselves as well as within others. The Way of early Christianity was a spiritual practice which similarly focused not on the material world, but on the practice of Divine Presence within the earthly realm. When we practice The Way, or The Tao, we become one with Divine Peace, Love, and even bliss. When we attain this, we experience the "Kingdom of God" or Reign of God, within ourselves, Nirvana or possibly Samadhi. Achieving this Way within each of ourselves is the only way we will be able to usher in the Reign of Divine presence among us all here on earth. The ultimate goal of The Way, and of Self-Realization, is the attainment of unity with the Divine Consciousness, or Buddha-Consciousness or Christ-Consciousness, within, and beyond our normal mortal mind. This Unity-Consciousness is eternal, but begins in the here and now. May it be so.
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